It's crazy, I'm thinking--
Just knowing that the world is round,
and here I am dancing on the ground.
am I right side up or upside down,
and is this real or am I dreaming?
-----

Today has passed nicely.

Class went okay. I jumped on Ren Jean a lot, in a vain attempt to make her grow shorter. But then again she started jumping on me too and then she stole my IH notes. >:[
And then she tried to run away.
Muahaha, Ren Jean-- you can run; but you can never hide outrun me!

Ego meister, I know.

Track training was funnnnnn.
I mean, I used to hate running like O(*@#987243 but now it's actually pretty fun.
Ask me again next year and I might tell you otherwise, but for now s'cool.
And then we played captain's ball, only with rugby balls, which're friggin' hard to catch 'cause they bounce around like whoaaaa and then again, I think I only touched the ball (briefly) thrice during the entire duration of the game, because the guys are waaay pro and basically I spent almost the whole game watching the ball fly over my 1.6m-above-groundlevel head.

Which was still fun, 'cause it beats live soccer on telly anytime; plus I still beat Yan and QL, 'cause I touched the ball thrice or four times and I think they only touched it twice.

After training, I went over to Cold Storage at Guthrie Place 'cause my little sister wanted me to get her lollipops.
The whole place is under renovation and now it's lost that golden vibe. It looks all fugly now. :/ Don't like it.
Got the lollipops, yogurt, etc and then walked back home...and on the way I had to bypass this guy.

I don't remember what he looked like; I only remember he was kinduv dark and was wearing white pants. (I didn't pay much attention 'cause I was in the midst of realizing- shockhorror- that I had bought the wrong kind of soda and I was gazing despairingly at the Pepsi label.) and then he looked me up and down as I passed him; and he was all,

"Hi, sorry, sweetheart."

and I'm like o_O.

Youuuu don't have the right to call me sweetheart, mister.

Go 'way, eeeevil sidewalk pervs.

Yeah and then on my way home I had to walk past the place where the 6th Ave car crash happened.
And it just felt weird.
I mean- there was the tree, for one- all burnt and charred on one side, and the wreaths and flowers and notes and burnt out candles laid around it.
And it just felt odd; knowing I was walking over the place a car crashed and burned and two boys died.
It kinduv felt like I was walking over someone's grave...yeah, almost literally.

But on a lighter note.

ASEAN Dance is on Tuesdayyyyy. <3
And I will fully make a fool outtuv myself during the hiphop bit 'cuz I doubt my fundamental three dance moves will be enough to get me through two hours of gyrating, heeeeelp.

Ah, but whatever.
At the most, I'll just go over and hang out by the Sprite table. :D
Lots of cool people hang out by the Sprite table! *toothy grin*

Or then again, I could just dance.
I mean-- the lights'll be low, plus it's not like I'm ever gonna see any of those people again.
Soooo.

... Qiu loves my everythinggggggg.

I feel so wanted. <3


Write this down,
Remember every word--
You're not the things they told you way back then
You're so much more than ideas in your head so bury them
And keep them so they can return when you're alone
And so that you can fight them in the end.
----

Hello, darlings, and welcome back.

Hectic, much-- my life has been a fastpacedhecticdraggingtorturous thing, racing past and slipping through the loophole between the minute hand and the hour hand and sifting and swirling and vanishing down the sink;

where it will flow to some idyllic little old New England village and fall into the breakfast mug of some barley farmer as he sits and talks with old friends over wheat cereal and hot rye bread and fruit fresh from his orchard,

which is why time always goes so slow over there-- all my time's going to them, and it's not fair.

...Things back on my side, though, have been-- for want of a better word-- strange.

And I'm not sure how eggsactly I feel about it.

(because the door's always shut and stuttering
and always silent when you're lonely
But when they come; they come and come again
and they won't leave you alone, Lee.)

[So I loved you for your courage, and your gentle sense of shame
And I loved you for your laughter and your language and your name
And I knew it was impossible, but I loved you just the same
Though the only love I gave to you was hard love.]


I got an email from Roy today-- which was unexpected; but whatever, mails're always cool.
(which sounds funny when you read it out, but whatev.)
Apparently he's in some nautically-sounding school and he realizes that rowing IS indeed very hard work and he's got dolphins on his walls.

People have been dreaming about me.

...I'm rad!

Maybe that's why I haven't been able to remember my dreams lately-- 'cause my dream self has been too busy floating around in other people's little subconscious/dream worlds to actually pay attention to my own dreams.

ANYWAYYYY. I digress.

The week's going to be over and it's going to be a girls' day out with Maxy and Ting again---

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DARLING! <3--

and I'm kinduv really looking forward to getting high again--

the real kind of high;

the kind that leaves you bent double and her draped over the clothesracks
and it's so overwhelming that it's a good half-a-minute before you regain your breath--

that kind of high

and no, I'm not talking drugs;
I'm talking laughter and best friends and c-c-c-camera flashes in the backseats of silver cabs,
and frosted strawberries in golden cafes and the sidewalk silhouettes of girls in love with life.


Hey, look out;

here we come.

...peace. <3


here's to fireworks and fireflies
and sharing looks and making eyes
the kind that lead to laughs and sighs
when spread across a summer sky
...what's so wrong with singalongs to melodies from july songs?
-----

Tomorrow's Fridayyyyyeeeee.

And ack, I'm going dah-own with that E Maths test, how sad, and I was planning to be around for my sixteenth birthday.

But whatever-- after that it'll be soap-flowers and teaspoons and good company;

(and in the glow of the evening we will dazzle--)

...These few days have been inordinately uppy-downsy.

Ren Jean thinks the German guy in school's cute. She should so have made her move today-- he was walking in front of us with some IP2 senior, and he kept turning around to glance in the general direction of our group.

Kat: "...Ren Jean! Fifty years from now you're gonna regret not going up to him..."

Fifty years from now, we'll be sixty-four.
And old, and wrinkled, and veryverymuch mellowed,
and possibly dead,

if we die young and pretty forty years before that.

Touchwood is such a cliched expression, but I'm gonna havta use it anyways because (being the nice person that I am) I don't want to jinx people.

So touchwood.

I want to go out and be happy and carefree and take lots of pictures with pretty golden tones and laugh and love and live.

"...I'm here if you need anything."
"-- I need a painkiller and I need a hug but you can't give either to me right now."

Friends don't let friends talk to friends when friends're having math tests the next day.

Track training was fun.
I think Plato's morbid and his cave theory makes me feel funny.
Mrs Marianne Tan has taken to calling me Spearmint 'coz of my Wrigley's hairclip; and people keep randomly coming up behind me and giving me a shock by suddenly prodding my hairclip to see if it's a real stick of gum.

...I mean-- at least give me some sort of warning-- it's a horrible feeling to suddenly feel hands on the back of your head;
you people're shaving bits of my life off, three seconds at a time. >:[

Ahhh Friday, you're just a day away--

please be nice to me,

please,

please.


She said to herself,
"Be happy, take chances, and be carefree.
Because the only person you need to impress-- is me."
----

TWO-IN-ONE POST.

Okay, so let's backtrackwindback to before I left Singapore.

...Ashwyn Arnesh Samson, I know what you saw.
And it's not what you think it is. (...I SAW the look on your face-- so HA!)

So things are, generally, puhretty weird around my area. :/

I like coffee, though. And hugs. And walking on the OUTSIDE of the curb; not inside, where ladies are- apparently- supposed to walk because it's safer, etcetraetcetra.

Festival of Praise was great-- I went with Max, Ting, and Sherman.
Don Moen was okay, I 'ppose...more for the 'rents than for anyone else... but Delirious was awesome.
I kid you not.

They were so awesome that after some time, I felt so not-okay that I had to sit down and cover half of my face with my red pashmina and just sit there, listening, learning, leaving (behind).

I got sleepy during the sermon. (...as expected. It's awful-- the way the words "...and the sermon for today is..." can put me to sleep just like that.
I've been working on it, though.
I didn't fall asleep last Sunday--- AND I actually enjoyed myself-- so take THAT.

Ting and Max both complained that they both look awful in the pictures and I only like the pictures because I actually turn out looking good, yaddayadda.

...Girls. [/sighs heavily]

On the contrary. I think the both of them looked beeyootiful that day. [:
And I am so NOT the oddball. S'not fayyyyreee-- ALL THREE of them ganged up on me at Pastamania.
"...Cara's always the oddball!!!"

...Nobody ever takes my side.
Ever!

And even when they do (like Sherman did, after I shot him The Death Glare)-- they never mean it, so it doesn't count.

...I am mizzunderstood. :[

Ah well. Chiangmai was really cool.
Yeah, I suppose it's pretty and all like people say...but I wouldn't know. I only ever actually saw the insides of malls and the gym.
Still, those were pretty pretty as well, I guess...:/ and the shopping was killer. :]
The gym was fantastic, too. Awesome stuff. At the end of the five days, I'd developed a strange affinity for the treadmill with the little teevee screen on it.

Pictures next time.

<3


And we all look like we feel.
------------

This is wrong, so wrong;

Wednesdays were supposed to be good days, with Mondays and Thursdays as the scapegoats.

Not that my day was a complete sucker- no,

It's just been highly charged under a calmer shade of grey and I'm not quite sure if I want to let myself feel it.

...The daytrip to Holland V made me feel better, though.
Ting and I curled up in the plush chairs at Starbucks and had warm muffins over swell conversation; and we both think it's gorgeous the way some places seem to be perfect in their own little, warm little, stellar little shells;

(secret #54: she wants to own a jewellery shop there,
I aspire to own the bohemian elf one.)


...Something has been changing people; and I'm not quite sure if I like it all that much.


(so take the photographs, and still frames in your mind,
hang it on a shelf in good health and good time.
tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial,
for what it's worth, it was worth all the while.)



(...or so I pray.)